Why Nobody Should Make a New Year’s Resolution

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It’s 2015. I went from a weirdo with crippling social anxiety, bitter and angry at the world with only similar friends to hang out with, to a social butterfly who finally kissed his first girl, is off medication, has a girlfriend and is president of two clubs…

I took this pill! You can get it for $995 each!

Haha no. I’m kidding.

No magic pill. No life script you say and magically girls, friends and status just fall into your lap…

Just work.

Hard, consistent work.

See, starting in 2012, I journaled. EVERY. NIGHT.

Over 2,000 pages of journals.

And every week, 1-3 times, I would go to therapy to work through my twisted emotions, getting to the bottom of why my life was where it was.

At one point, I realized my medication was a crutch.

So I worked with a wellness coach who treats his Parkinson’s symptoms effectively with a healthy diet, social life and exercise, revamped my diet and exercise habits over the course of a year and pushed through a terrifying withdrawal period (seriously, it changed my life so much I gave a TEDx Rutgers Speechcraft talk about it in 2015.)

I revamped my social life and got friends to hang out with.

How?

I made a point of talking to new people every time I didn’t know someone.

And I got into a habit of asking people to things more often, planning things in my head and putting myself out there if I wanted to hang out with someone.

I got two executive board positions at clubs in school.

By accident actually. I just wanted to join them, but the two presidents asked me to take over.

How?

I made a habit of showing up to the club meetings and participating. And they noticed.

I kissed my first girl.

I’m a late bloomer, haha. But better late than never.

How?

I made a point to talk to more girls and make more moves, even if I was nervous.

I only had romantic movies to go off of, so it ended up being a really romantic kiss… Date on the beach in the middle of the night, I’m showing her the constellations… Her… “Joe, have you ever kissed a girl?” Me… “No… Wanna be my first?”

Why did this all happen at once?

It’s an illusion. It happened the moment I decided to revamp my life that wasn’t working… And it happened every moment I decided to keep putting effort in.

Every morning I decided to get up early.

Every morning I decided to run when I didn’t want to.

Every night I stuck trhough the withdrawal symptoms, feeling what my medication would never allow me to feel ALL AT ONCE.

In changing myself, my diet, my exercise habits, and purposefully talking to girls, I changed my trajectory from going towards an unhealthy, lonely life towards a life of wealth and prosperity.

And the momentum made me overshoot my goal and become the HEAD of two clubs where I previously just shot for joining them.

Why?

Because I changed my own momentum from the ground up. Consistently

Later I would learn what happens when you suddenly get status, but don’t know what to do with it, let it get to your head, and make some fatal mistakes. But life is trial and error, and often it’s two steps forward and one step backward.

Why do I say this now?

Many of you are thinking about your New Year’s Resolutions.

And you may succeed.

Or not.

But it’s really irrelevant. The people who succeed, succeed every day. They evaluate their path every day and make changes, recalibrate their direction as much as needed. Not just once a year.

I will not do a New Year’s Resolution.

I will never do a New Year’s Resolution and neither should you.

Every week, I reevaluate my goals for the week, month, and 18 months into the future. And every day I look at those goals I solidified on Sunday and make sure my daily plan gets me closer to those goals.

Don’t make a New Year’s resolution.

Instead, create a goal you truly want.

And figure out ONE thing you can do each day.

And do it.

Every.

Day.

Want a six pack?

Do 10 situps just after you wake up and a 30 second plank every day. You will get a six pack much sooner than you expect.

Want more $$$?

Find an affiliate sales program for a product you believe in and call 10 leads after breakfast. Every day.

Some days you will get rejected 10 times. Sorry. Part of the game my friend, but you will improve and if you are consistent, you will become rich before you know it.

Want to get a girlfriend, boyfriend or just have a more active love life?

Hang out with more groups and talk to 10 girls/guys each day. Ask your favorite one out once a day.

You may get rejected some days. Sorry bud, it’s part of life. Pick yourself back up, hold your head high, and move on to someone who values you.

If you do these things I guarantee your life will improve. If you do it consistently and with your best effort, there is 100% chance you will improve.

Here are my habits:

Every day (with one break day each week) I:

Read a bit of three books.
Meditate.
Either do pushups or situps and a 30-second plank.
Do a graphic design tutorial episode.
Visualize my long term, medium term, short term and daily goals.
Write down what I am grateful for – twice each day.
Write down what I can improve.
Plan for the day.
Plan for the next day.
Log my cash flow.
Do some brain games.
Listen to a course on money-making mentalities and habits.
Write down two of my fears and then what I would do if they happened right now.
Send all this to my mentor.
Win a round of Robert Kiyosaki’s game called “Cash Flow.”

And of course I make time to have fun and visit friends, do social things etc.

And that doesn’t mention my habits I do every Sunday or every other day.

And I built this up gradually. Not all at once.

I have been 80-90% consistent on this schedule in the past few weeks, and 70-80% consistent with it since I started, and I only intend to gain consistency.

To show up.

Consistency is the key.

Bruce Lee famously said: “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

He knew the power of consistency.

And the danger of hype.

So forget the hype of the new year. If you’re going to succeed you’d already be working for it.

If you aren’t working for it, start small and start now. And tomorrow. And the next day.

Soon everyone will wonder where all your growth came from.

But you’ll know.